Jeffrey Hayward is in love with Virginia Embrey, but Virginia refuses to marry him until her sister Angelica, who is four years older than she, finds a husband. Frustrated by Virginia’s stipulation, Jeff threatens to marry Angelica himself. Meanwhile, outside the Embrey estate, Reginald Irving, a homely billboard painter, is hit by a car while walking along the road. The injured pedestrian is rushed to the Embreys’, where Jeff decides to fix him up with Angelica. In order to make Reginald more appealing to the snobbish Angelica, Jeff tells her that Reggie is famous and pays women admirers to surround Reggie and make him seem important. The hapless sign painter, bewildered by all the activity, tries to escape by climbing out of his window, but he is spotted by Jeff, who tackles him and brings him back. Reggie is soon put in charge of managing Angelica’s eight million dollar estate. Jeff orders him to stay and continue the hoax until marriage arrangements between him and Angelica are made firm. Believing that Reggie will appear more desirable to Angelica if he is caught having an affair with another woman, Jeff enlists the help of gossip columnist Polly Hathaway, who agrees to meet Reggie at a hotel. Knowing that the half-witted Reggie is incapable of romancing a woman properly, Jeff gives him step-by-step instructions to seduce his date when he gets to the hotel. Jeff’s plan goes awry when Reggie mistakes the dejected Nita, a friend of the Embreys’, who has just had a quarrel with her husband Frederick, for his date and takes her to the hotel. On the way to the hotel, Reggie’s car stalls on railroad tracks and is destroyed by a passing train, forcing the couple to hitchhike in the pouring rain. Drenched, the two arrive at the hotel, while Angelica and Virginia set out in search of them. Nita is shocked when Reggie tries to force his intentions upon her, and she attempts to flee. When Polly arrives at the hotel, she begins to rehearse Jeff’s romancing instructions with Reggie. While Polly teaches Reggie how to kiss, Jeff arrives and, realizing that Reggie has bungled the scheme, warns him that Nita’s jealous husband is on his way to kill him. Again, not knowing that it is Polly with whom he is supposed to be caught, Reggie turns to Leila Crofton, another of Angelica’s friends, and begins making love to her. Virginia and Angelica burst into the room in the middle of Reggie’s attack, but before they are able to react, Frederick arrives on the scene and pulls a gun on Reggie. Jeff manages to save Reggie, but when a gunshot rings out, Polly falls to the floor and is believed to be dead. Everyone flees from the scene when the police arrive, except for Reggie, who tries to hide the body. When Polly regains consciousness, she urges Reggie to use Jeff’s lovemaking method on Angelica, and it appears that he and Angelica will become lovers.
For information on French and German-language versions of the film, see the entry for Buster se marie. According to the 8 Apr 1931 Var review, most of Parlor, Bedroom and Bath was shot on location at Buster Keaton‘s Beverly Hills home on Hartford Way in Benedict Canyon, where he also shot the foreign-language versions of the picture, Buster et marie and Casanova wider Willen. More on Wikipedia
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